MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Eastwood Insurance, The Sequel
I'm sorry to report that Eastwood Insurance's radio advertising hasn't improved since it was featured in an earlier Monday Radio Commercial Smackdown.
Here's the latest.
The only real selling point of this spot is "$37 down and low monthly payments" — which is mentioned in the opening line and never again. By the end of the commercial — heck, by the very next sentence — the listener has forgotten all about that.
"But Dan, what about the fact that she's been an agent there for 17 years?"
That's nice. But it doesn't sell insurance.
They give both a terrible vanity phone number (1-800-470-2-SAV) and its numeric equivalent.
Here Comes The Clue Train.
If you give both a vanity number and its numeric equivalent and a listener wants to write down one of them (unlikely as that is with this commercial), the listener will write down the numeric equivalent and ignore the vanity number.
"But some people won't be able to write it down, and we want them to remember it. That's why we have the vanity number, too!"
Chug Chug Chug
Oops, the Clue Train's job isn't done yet. Nobody will remember "1-800-470-2-SAV."
They give two Calls To Action (call or visit their website). That's one too many. (Multiple Calls To Action depress total overall response.)
And then the friendly, "been here 17 years" agent is made to look ridiculous as she's pressed into service to deliver the fast-talking disclaimer. I hope at least she was paid a bonus for voicing the radio commercial.
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Citibank - No More Customers, Please
Apparently Citibank has weathered the financial crisis so well that it wants to avoid attracting any new customers. So they've created a radio commercial designed to do just that.
They open with a lethal one-two non-punch, with the first words of the spot being "At Citibank we're offering" and delivered in the least appealing monotone the voice actor could muster.
Obviously, the professionals who created this know that no one in the radio audience cares what Citibank is offering. So they deliberately begin the spot with words guaranteed to prevent people from listening.
Then they rush into some numbers before anyone can possibly know what they're talking about. Oh, and that "top of class annual percentage rate"? Priceless! As satirists, these guys are good.
And, in the tradition of all good satirists, they're merciless. They give two Calls To Action instead of just one, with no good reason to act on either of them.
Then, the perfect finish: Six seconds of disclaimer gibberish — tacked onto a message that no one will ever hear.
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: We Won't Tell You What We're Selling, But Some Restrictions Apply
First, the commercial:
What a mess.
They spend the first 15 seconds saying...nothing. Unless, that is, you haven't noticed that over the years lots of things have become more expensive.
Maybe they assume we haven't noticed that, because they treat us though we are very stupid. How could we possibly understand what she means by "a nice cup of coffee" if those words hadn't been followed by the sound of liquid being poured?
And buying a few gallons of gas? What does she — oh, I recognize that sound! It's a gas pump. So when she says "guying a few gallons of gas," she means gas for a car, at a gas station.
"At Public Storage, a dollar still goes a long way."
No, it doesn't. It gets you one free promotional month if you sign a long-term contract, with so many restrictions they can't fit them into this commercial.
And Now It Gets Even Dumber.
"Just one dollar pays for your first month's rent. So pick up the phone and call..."
Uh, guys? My first month's rent of...What? A locker? A shed? A container? Before you try to get people to buy something, it's almost always a good idea to make sure they know what you're selling.
"At Public Storage, we have a variety of storage spaces and locations to choose from."
Okay, this whole thing is a practical joke, right? One of my loyal readers actually bought an advertising campaign so patently bad, just to see if I'd realize it's a gag. The only thing they omitted was the "friendly, knowledgeable staff."
Here Comes The Clue Train.
The story here isn't about what a dollar can buy. It's about all that stuff that's cluttering up your garage — and how Public Storage can help.
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: BMW Continues To Lead In The "Bad Radio Advertising By Luxury Automobiles" Segment
This commercial involves the story of half a million people. We know that because the opening line is:
"Who are we to argue with half a million people?"
Except...That's not what the story is about. The story is about...uh, pre-owned BMWs. Not an interesting story. Not a good story. But despite the expectations raised by the opening line, that's what this spot is about: pre-owned BMWs.
The second line indicates what the commercial really is about — and, I suspect, inadvertently offers a statement that could get BMW in trouble with the Federal Trade Commission:
"That's half a million satisfied customers who have made BMW the leader in the luxury segment."
This is just a hunch, but I suspect "half a million" is the number of people who have purchased pre-owned BMWs. That doesn't necessarily equate to half a million satisfied customers.
Why do I get the feeling BMW made an unsupportable leap from "customers" to "satisfied customers"? Because in this spot they make the claim without supporting it. If 500,000 people who purchased pre-owned BMWs reported they were delighted with their vehicles and would recommend pre-owned BMWs to their friends, it would be been smart to say so in this spot.
Just a hunch, based on experience. Perhaps they were referring to such a statistic but don't understand why they should cite it (i.e., to establish credibility).
But it doesn't matter, because that's not the horrific part of this commercial. The really awful part is...
...Actually, there is no really awful part. It's all so extraordinarily innocuous that it has no impact at all — not even a negative one.
"...the leader in the luxury segment."
Okay, that's a joke, right? They don't really believe there's even one consumer who ever has uttered (or even thought) the words, "the luxury segment," do they?
MRS. STUPID: Gee, Honey, what kind of car should we buy?
MR. STUPID: Doesn't matter to me, Sweet Pea, as long as it's one of the models in the luxury segment.
What is this commercial's Core Message — the one thing they want the targeted audience to hear, to understand and to remember? Is it:
* Largest selection to choose from online? (Bonus points for the passive language, guys.)
* Comprehensive protection plan?
* All vehicles meticulously serviced by BMW technicians? (Does BMW have a less expensive program offering vehicles that have been serviced by BMW technicians but not meticulously? "All vehicles haphazardly serviced," perhaps?)
* The vehicles go through — this is breathtaking — an inspection process? A rigorous (vs. a lax) inspection process?
Just when you think, "Well, at least they've run out of dumb things to say," BMW surpasses expectations:
"Not to mention it offers something no other manufacturer can..."
This is Copywriting 101, folks. Saying "not to mention" before mentioning something is stupid. Not to mention it's bad advertising.
The Call To Action? Visit a laughably clumsy URL.
The reason to heed that Call To Action?
"For details."
Talk about your irresistible offers.
Here's the entire message this commercial contains: "BMW sells used cars. Please buy one."
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Advil's Radio Advertising Headache
Former radio guy, MTV pioneer and E! Entertainment CEO Lee Masters loves "agent jokes." Here's one:
An agent is on the phone with a producer, pitching one of his clients. A minute or two into the conversation the producer interrupts and says, "Hey, wait a minute. You're lying to me!"
The agent says, "Yeah, I know. But hear me out..."
When you begin a commercial with an obvious lie, you lose the entire battle:
No, you don't work at the pharmacy counter. You're a voice actor. And everyone listening knows you don't work at the pharmacy. They know that you are lying to them.
"It packs the power of Advil with a strong decongestant."
Yep, that's exactly how my pharmacist speaks. How about yours?
Oh, and I guess the music that comes in at :10 is being piped into the pharmacy?
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Lakeside Medical
One minute from now — or less — the only image you'll be able to recall from this radio commercial is this dog.
What the heck does that guy & his dog have to do with what's being advertised?
In case you missed it: The spot is, vaguely, about health care. The big message: The advertiser promises to deliver health care "with compassion and respect." Big whoop.
The Call To Action is to go the radio station website and enter the advertiser's "key word." But guess what? The advertiser has its own website.
Which do you think is easier for the listener to remember and to be able to enter accurately?
"kost1035.com, keyword 'lakeside'"
or
"LakesideCommunityHealthCare.com"?
Why doesn't the commercial send them directly to the advertiser's website? Probably so the radio station can "track" responses, and the advertiser can see how many visitors were sent by the station. Of course, the number of visitors will be smaller than if the commercial gave the advertiser's URL instead, but I guess that's not important.
Actually, in this case isn't important because very few people will go to either website as the result of hearing this spot. Why not? Because the listener isn't given any reason to. The entire Call Action is to go to the website and enter the key word. And then what? Uh....They haven't figured that out yet.
Surprise! Somebody Did Something Right.
The station's URL is www.kost1035.com. But plenty of listeners will hear that as "www.coast1035.com."
In a rare case of radio station Web intelligence, someone purchased the "misspelled" KOST URL. Doesn't help this lousy commercial, but it's nice to see that someone was smart enough to spend an extra few bucks a year to capture traffic that otherwise would be lost.
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Finalist, Biggest Lie Ever Told In A Radio Commercial
Radio commercial for a theatrical production of "Wicked":
Really? Then I guess it wouldn't be much trouble from them to provide us with a list of just a few audience members who have described this experience as "thrillifying."
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Confusing The Audience Is Not A Good Strategy
An incredibly bad radio commercial:
For the first 30 seconds of this spot, it seems to be about fashion. Finally we realize they're not talking about style; they're talking about...uh, snow? Skiing? Boarding? Incredible deals?
One of a kind packages on lodging and lift tickets
Oh, really? What exactly are "one of a kind packages"? They've created a different package for each customer?
Colorado's legendary snow is back.
Ah, yes, the legend of Colorado snow. No one knows for sure if it's true, but what a wonderful story it is, handed down from generation to generation.
By popular demand
By popular demand, winter has returned? Perhaps that could be the basis of a cute commercial conceit. But as a single line that comes from nowhere and leads nowhere?
Endless sunshine
Well, dadgum! I'd a-thunk the sunshine disappears plum near every evening in Colorado in the winter. The things you learn from radio advertising.
"Amazing" ski resorts
Unless you're referring to Kreskin, Randi, or The Amazing Race, only an amateur uses "amazing" to describe the advertised product or service. "Amazing" can be applied — with equal lack of effect — to virtually any product or service. (And while we're at it: I'm sure Colorado's ski resorts are quite nice. I have a hunch, however, that no experienced skiier or boarder is "amazed" by them.)
Confusing the audience is not a good thing:
First it was black. Then brown became the new black. Until grey became the new brown.
Were Colorado's ski resorts previously black, brown and grey? What the heck are they talking about? Even if that makes sense to fashionistas (I wouldn't know), it doesn't make sense to skiiers and boarders.
Skiing is a kinesthetic experience: movement, speed, twists & turns, skis on snow, air rushing past. Why are they spending all that effort trying to get us to visualize "white" rather than to feel the sensation of skiing?
The male voice repeatedly focuses the listener's attention not on skiing, not on skiiing in Colorado...but on the meaningless phrase, "winter white." And we can hear him trying to sound cool. (Hint: If people can hear you trying to sound cool, you don't.)
That ludicrous attempt at sounding cool combines with the amateurish echoing of "winter white" by the female voice. (I'm not certain, but that female sounds an awful lot like the woman delivering the body of the copy.) What is this: A commercial running on a major Los Angeles radio station or a college student's first effort in Production 101?
The overall impact is smug. They sure sound impressed with themselves, don't they?
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Finalist - Most Mismatched Voiceover of the Decade
You be the judge:
I'm not trying to embarrass the performer. I sincerely hope that's a beginning voiceover person who was further hampered by lack of competent direction.
But there really should be a law against her saying "fluent in funky."
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Sure, They Went Bankrupt, But Still....
This week's smackdown isn't as cruel as you might expect. First, here's the commercial....
The Good Thing To Notice In That Commercial: Your attention automatically is drawn to the singer, and — surprisingly unusual in radio advertising — she is communicating the sales message: "It's easy to open a WAMU checking account online in under 7 minutes."
All too often, it's the announcer who delivers the sales message, while the singer "entertains"...and the message never is heard.
The Bad News (I mean, aside from the fact that they since have gone bankrupt):"Opening an online checking account in under 7 minutes" is hardly a Unique Selling Proposition. About as shocking as "now with ATM machines!"
What the heck was this commercial trying to accomplish? Can you imagine even one person opening a new account with WAMU as a result of hearing this spot?
But....Notice how you did hear that lame message. Why? Because your attention was drawn to the singer, and the singer delivered the (lame) message.
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Shotgun Wedding Commercial
I've just coined that phrase, referring to commercials that exist because two companies made a deal to partner in a marketing or advertising promotion.
Neither company actually cares about getting results. They're too blinded by the fact that somebody else is paying for part (or all, depending upon the promotion) of this!
Actually, whoever created this has achieved something noteworthy. They've produced a commercial that has absolutely no value at all. They've managed to say nothing, badly.
The commercial opens with the name of the advertiser. Why? Well, I'm sure it pleases the Visa people. Otherwise, it signals to the audience, "Here's a brochure for Visa Signature credit cards."
"On top of the points or miles you already earn..." — They jump right into the pitch, assuming that everyone in the audience has a Visa card, has a Visa Signature Card that earns points or miles, and at this very moment is thinking about their Visa Signature Card. They don't attempt first to get the attention of the targeted listener.
"To experience the luxury of the world-class Pinehurst Resort" — Apparently all the effort went into creating this joint promotion, while the actual writing of the sales message was delegated to a secretary.
This is a golf club. Golfers use it to hit golf balls when they play golf on golf courses.
"year-round exclusive golf packages" — followed by the sound of a club hitting a ball, apparently for the sake of listeners who aren't sure what "golf" is.
"Cardholders have access to the best of Pinehurst Golf" — implying there's a worst of Pinehurst Golf.
"with the Ultimate Golf Package" — whatever that is. They go out of their way to illustrate the concept of "golf" but apparently assume everyone knows what "the Ultimate Golf Package" is.
They give the phone number before giving people a reason to call.
And the reason? "To reserve your Pinehurst Experience."
MR. STUPID: Say, honey, why don't we reserve a Pinehurst Experience?
MRS. STUPID: What a great idea! You're such a wonderful husband.
MR. & MRS. STUPID: Thanks, Visa Signature Card and Pinehurst Resort!
After 50 seconds of mind-numbing nothingness, they finish with 10 seconds of fine print.
And what is this radio commercial's Core Message? You know, the one thing they want the targeted listener to hear, to understand, and to remember? Take your pick:
• Visa Signature Cards give you exclusive benefits
• Luxury of Pinehurst Resort
• Year-round, exclusive golf packages
• The Ultimate Golf Package
• The Home of Golf Package
• 10% savings off any Pinehurst package
• Mention your credit card at time of purchase
• Instructions on figuring out if you have a Visa Signature Card. (HINT: If you have a Visa Signature Card, it will say "Visa Signature Card" on the front of your card.)
Two entities joining together to flush money down the toilet. What's that called again? Oh, yeah: "Synergy."
Okay, so you're thinking, "Good grief. Yet another stupid radio commercial that says nothing, in a cutesy way."
I'm confident, however, that the creators of this spot were attempting to engage the rhetorical device of litotes — affirming something by slyly denying its opposite. (You suspected that, too, huh?)
"I'm not going to tell you X," she says...and continues to tell us what she said she wasn't going to tell us.
How clever.
How witty.
How pathetic.
Let's start with the goal of this campaign: to tell Nordstrom's fans in the vicinity of Thousand Oaks that a new Nordstrom store is opening near them. If you've never shopped at Nordstrom, this message isn't intended for you.
If you've never shopped there, it will take more to get you in the door than being told the store has:
• Exciting looks from the best names in fashion for men, women and kids
• An array of shoes
* Knowledgeable salespeople
Yes, I know that Nordstrom provides service that outstrips most of its competitors. But non-customers don't know that, and they won't be convinced with those mindless clichés.
Meanwhile, Nordstrom customers know that Nordstrom sells nice, fairly expensive clothing and is famous for its personalized service. Those vacuous bullet points don't reinforce their relationship to the brand. If anything, they hurt the brand by making it sound like every other department store.
(Okay, let's be fair: It does set Nordstrom apart from department stores who advertise boring clothing from third-rate designers, a few shoes scattered about, and salespeople who don't know the difference between Pierre Cardin and Pierre Trudeau.)
And the call to action? "To learn more, visit" their website. Yep, I can't think of anything more interesting to do with my life. I think I'll go online and learn more about Nordstrom.
Here's the entire message that spot should have attempted to convey:
NEW NORDSTROM STORE OPENS FRIDAY IN THOUSAND OAKS — AT THE OAKS
That's it.
Deliver that message any way you want. Sing it, yodel it, rhyme it in iambic pentameter. But that's the message.
I've created this post for any Radio Advertising Letter subscribers who would like to comment on the radio station sales imaging I critiqued in the newest issue.
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: MGM Grand Hotel & Casino
The spot opens with, "Wishing you could get away for a mini-vacation?" That certainly could be the premise of a commercial for a Las Vegas resort. But after asking the question, they don't do anything to deliver on its implied promise.
"Here's a little secret exclusive for our K-EARTH listeners. MGM Hotel & Casino has it all...."
Actually, I swear the guy is saying "had" it all. But that doesn't make sense. It's more likely that my hearing ability has deteriorated than that the copywriter or voiceover performer accidentally wrote or said "had" instead of "has" — and that no one at the radio station caught it.
Where was I? Oh, yeah:
"Here's a little secret exclusive for our K-EARTH listeners. MGM Grand Hotel & Casino has it all...."
That's not a secret, and it's certainly not exclusive for K-EARTH listeners.
Saying that something is exclusive for your listeners when it's not is what we in the radio advertising biz call "not true."
"Treat yourself to a massage at the spa."
Gee, a Vegas hotel with a spa? Hard to believe. And the spa offers massages? Unheard of.
"See an award-winning show."
SHE: We never do anything fun any more.
HE: How about seeing an award-winning show?
SHE: What a great idea! Honey, I love you!
TOGETHER: Thanks, MGM Grand Hotel & Casino!
Here Comes The Clue Train:
If you want people to attend your award-winning show, tell them the name of the show or performer.
"But the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino has a number of different shows, and they might change from one week to the next."
Yeah, so? Either do the work needed to create the spot that sells the show, or don't waste your breath and the listeners' time talking about it.
"Indulge yourself in any of the 15 restaurants."
Indulge myself? Oh, you mean eat food?
15 restaurants? Doesn't sound particularly inviting to me. Sounds like a gigantic, impersonal place. But by golly, "15 restaurants" is on that list of bullet points, so....
"Oh, and the room accommodations? Wow, where do I start?"
Well, you could start by noticing that no one you know ever comes back from a mini-vacation and refers to their "room accommodations." Never.
HE: How about staying at the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino?
SHE: Hmm, I don't know. What are their room accommodations like?"
And apparently the announcer never did figure out "where to start," because she didn't say anything at all about the "room accommodations" — other than to imply that the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino has some.
"Exclusive package offers won't last long."
Hey, they met the "not true" standard twice in just six words:
1. We've already established that the offers are not exclusive.
2. The "special offers" probably will be featured on the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino's website for years.
"I tried radio advertising, and it didn't work...."
Is she unbelievably stupid, or is she stupidly unbelievable?
A successful radio commercial needs to have a single Core Message — the one thing you want the targeted listener to hear, to understand, and to remember. Let's see how many different messages (regardless of how lame) they try to squeeze into this one spot:
• Over 3,500 slot machines
• They name 3 of the new slot machine games. ("Hey, Marge! Grab your hat, we've got to get over to San Manuel Indian Bingo & Casinos. They've got a new slot machine called 'Real Winners!' ")
• The slots area is newly expanded.
• Smoke-free room
• Another new slot machine name: "Cash Wheel"
• Penny machines
• An area for "classic games" (complete with examples)
• "A complete gaming, entertainment and dining experience"
• The poker room has been remodeled.
• High stakes bingo
• Live entertainment
This is the kind of radio commercial that gives bad advertising a bad name.
The opening line clearly identifies and captures the attention of the targeted listener.
These lines are strong:
"The IRS is looking for you."
"The most brutal collection agency in the world."
The rest, alas, is a bit of a mess.
This commercial sounds as though the copywriter made a list of all the points that might be included in the spot — and reeled them off, one by one. The result is disjointed. The commercial has no flow; it doesn't pull you along. The guy just keeps talking until his 60 seconds are up.
"The IRS will stop at nothing. Don't let this happen to you."
Huh? Two disjointed thoughts. Seeds of copywriting approaches, yes. Fully grown copy, no.
The problem is intensified by the announcer's delivery. You're saying someone is out to get me? Someone might put me in jail? That's serious, highly personal stuff. But this guy sounds like a voiceover for a 1960s laundry detergent commercial.
"...just hired a massive amount of new government agents"
— I don't believe that. It might be true, but this spot makes it sound like a bluff because it avoids any specifics. If it is true, then the number of new agents is a matter of public record. Find that number and put it in the commercial. Remember, Specificity Helps Create Believability.
Tax Relief ASAP is "the most effective tax firm"? What does that mean? Who says they're the most effective? (Actually, you and I know the answer: They say they are.) If you're going to make a "best" claim, you need to specify what you're best at, and you'd better have something to back it up. Otherwise, it's just an empty boast that doesn't help build your credibility.
"Over 31 years of proven experience"
— I think I smell a client's copywriting at work. Is that supposed to be a Unique Selling Proposition? If I've got tax troubles and I find a firm that has over 32 years of experience, should I choose them instead?
When they list what the IRS can do to you, they should stop after the third threat. Informally known as "The Rule of Threes," you need to stop before the listener finds it tedious.
Let's take some of the raw material that somehow was read directly into a microphone and begin to craft a more cohesive, personal and powerful message:
If you owe the federal government at least $10,000 or have unfiled back taxes, 18,000 IRS agents are looking for you. They can seize your property, force you into foreclosure, even put you in jail. But there IS some good news: If you owe the IRS $10,000 or more, you may qualify for the 2008 settlement program. That means you might be able to make things right for just pennies on the dollar — legally. No more sleepless nights. No more worrying when the phone rings. No more fear of losing everything, all because you got behind on your taxes....
MONDAY COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Our Financial Crisis is Over!
At least, the state of California must have so much money that they can throw it away on worthless advertising:
Message The Listener Hears: "Recycling is good."
Call To Action: "Go to bottlesandcans.com"
Reason to Go To bottlesandcans.com: Uh...We'll have someone get back to you on that one.
Thanks, California Department of Conservation. Here's an idea: How about conserving our tax dollars, rather than flushing it away on garbage like this?
MONDAY COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Finalist, Worst Los Angeles Radio Commercial of the Year
Here, first give it a listen.
Okay, where do I begin? Maybe I should start by listing this commercial's good points:
Um...Well, eventually it does end.
Now for the Less Than Good Points.
The first question we must grapple with is, "Is the biggest problem with this spot that the message is garbage, or is it that the garbage is delivered so incompetently?"
Pretty much a toss-up.
We might as well begin with the garbage:
What the heck is this commercial trying to communicate? What is its sales message? What problem is it solving for the targeted listener? How does it intersect with that listener's life?
Answers: I dunno. No idea. Beats me. It doesn't.
What is this commercial's Core Message — the one thing they want the targeted listener to hear, to understand, and to remember? I guess it's:
Pacific Sales is growing all across Southern California.
That's a Core Message worth advertising?
...growing all across Southern California.
What is it, a fungus? Should some civic minded listener call the EPA?
What's the Call To Action? What is the action the targeted listener is supposed to take to act on this non-existent sales message?
There is none.
On the other hand, they did give the advertiser's name six times. That must have made the client feel all warm and fuzzy.
Here Is The Message Communicated By This Commercial:
"Look at us! We're so great!"
And the tag at the end?
Beat the price increase with only a 20% deposit
What the heck does that mean?
See store for complete details.
Good idea. I'll just hop into the car right now and drive to one of Pacific Sales' many locations throughout Southern California and ask an expert, trustworthy and non-commissioned employee to explain it to me.
But hey, why focus on the negatives? Sure, there's no actual message here. But when we look at the skill with which that non-message is delivered, we can't help but be impressed.
There's a reason Pacific Sales is growing all across Southern California. Would you like to know why? I'll tell you...
Normally when you hear people speak like that, they're "vamping." This sounds like the voice talent lost the actual script and was trying to fake it.
It also reminds me of a disc jockey desperately trying to "talk up the vocal" on an incredibly long song intro. Here, let me help:
There's a reason Pacific Sales is growing all across Southern California. Would you like to know why? Would you like to know why Pacific Sales is growing all across Southern California? Really? You're sure you want me to tell you the reason that Pacific Sales is growing all across Southern California? Okay, then I'll tell you why Pacific Sales is growing all across Southern California...
I've heard lots of bad commercials, but that opening is astonishing. They have elevated incompetence to an art form.
It takes them 14 seconds to give us a clue about what the heck they're selling: kitchen appliances and bath fixtures. Oops, at :16 we learn it's "home theatre," too.
They have huge 30,000 square foot showrooms. Glad to hear that. Don't you just hate those teensy-weensy 30,000 square foot showrooms?
Not only do they have displays of the products they sell; you actually can see them! That really sets them apart from their competitors, who no doubt keep their displays hidden behind steel curtains.
More brands than you can imagine.
Really? I can imagine 10,000 brands. How many you got?
The Pacific Sales staff is expert
HOLD THE PRESSES! You guys say you have an expert staff? Never heard THAT in commercial before. It really differentiates you from your competitors who boast about their "know-nothing employees."
In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if your staff are friendly and knowledgeable, too.
MONDAY COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Please Critique This Spot
I find this commercial too depressing to critique. Not because it's so bad (although it is) but because...Oh, something about what it says about our society.
So here's your chance to demonstrate your expertise. What's good about this spot (aside from the fact that eventually it ends)? What's not so good? How could it be improved upon?
