MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Citibank - No More Customers, Please

Apparently Citibank has weathered the financial crisis so well that it wants to avoid attracting any new customers. So they've created a radio commercial designed to do just that.

They open with a lethal one-two non-punch, with the first words of the spot being "At Citibank we're offering" and delivered in the least appealing monotone the voice actor could muster.

Obviously, the professionals who created this know that no one in the radio audience cares what Citibank is offering. So they deliberately begin the spot with words guaranteed to prevent people from listening.

Then they rush into some numbers before anyone can possibly know what they're talking about. Oh, and that "top of class annual percentage rate"? Priceless! As satirists, these guys are good.

And, in the tradition of all good satirists, they're merciless. They give two Calls To Action instead of just one, with no good reason to act on either of them.

Then, the perfect finish: Six seconds of disclaimer gibberish — tacked onto a message that no one will ever hear.