You probably haven't noticed — theoretically it's possible for you not to spend your every waking moment thinking about me — but despite today's economy I've been doing more "stuff" than ever.
Why?
Because if everyone around me is cutting back while I'm doing as much as — or more than — ever, I get a lot more bang for my buck.
This hardly is my own keen insight into the world of marketing. It's conventional wisdom:
“We have a philosophy and a strategy. When times are tough, you build share."
— AG Lafley, CEO, Procter & Gamble
Probably you've tried to explain that to your clients. If not, you should.
But if you do, you also should "walk the walk."
If your station or agency has halted all expenditures in training and R&D, you really don't have the right to preach to potential advertisers the value of continuing to reach out to the marketplace while their competitors are sticking their heads in the sand.
MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Advil's Radio Advertising Headache
Former radio guy, MTV pioneer and E! Entertainment CEO Lee Masters loves "agent jokes." Here's one:
An agent is on the phone with a producer, pitching one of his clients. A minute or two into the conversation the producer interrupts and says, "Hey, wait a minute. You're lying to me!"
The agent says, "Yeah, I know. But hear me out..."
When you begin a commercial with an obvious lie, you lose the entire battle:
No, you don't work at the pharmacy counter. You're a voice actor. And everyone listening knows you don't work at the pharmacy. They know that you are lying to them.
"It packs the power of Advil with a strong decongestant."
Yep, that's exactly how my pharmacist speaks. How about yours?
Oh, and I guess the music that comes in at :10 is being piped into the pharmacy?
O'DAY'S TRAVEL WOES #26: Dislocated Shoulder On An Airplane
October 1994 (continued): On Thursday night, I flew to Seattle. As I reached my seat while boarding the plane, my shoulder engaged in one of its amusing occasional pastimes: It popped out of the socket.
Disclocated Shoulder
This is an incredibly painful but usually short-lived experience. When it happens, my arm is twisted all out of shape. All I can do is try to manipulate the shoulder with my opposite hand until, somehow, it pops back into place. Sometime this takes only a minute or two; sometimes it takes longer.
This time it took longer.
Needing the space in which to stagger around like a wounded animal and not particularly wanting to provide a sideshow for the other passengers, I made my way to the rear of the plane and frantically tried to repair my shoulder.
Nothing I did succeeded.
I didn’t know if I could even be belted into my airplane seat in that condition. And I certainly did not want to spend the next couple of hours like that.
It had never taken more than five minutes or so to get my shoulder back in place. This time, five minutes passed without any success. Then ten. Then 15. After 25 minutes — literally seconds before the announcement was made to buckle up for take-off — my shoulder popped back in.
At least I had gotten that trip’s bad luck out of the way early. Or so I thought....
I belong to two groups. One is the Automobile Club. The other is a top secret group of People Who Think They're More Important Than They Are. We meet twice a year and share "Best Practices" (i.e., lie to each other about how much we really accomplish).
At our most recent meeting, last month, I found myself making a number of notes and thinking, "I should share this with my blog readers." So here we are. The first of several random thoughts and observations.
Mary Ellen Tribby
Mary Ellen Tribby is Publisher/CEO of Early To Rise. In addition to taking a merciless drubbing from a few of us over dinner the last night, Mary Ellen shared some of the practices that have made her company so successful.
Two questions they always ask before they embark on any project:
1. "Is it good for our customers?"
(For a radio station, "customers" = "listeners." And "customers" = "advertisers."
2. "Is it good for our company?"
(Please substitute "radio station" for "company.")
She also included one declaration that needs no rewriting for radio:
"Everyone in the company is a marketer."
Your radio station's every employee, volunteer and/or intern is part of your Marketing Department. Every touch any of them makes with anyone outside the station is an opportunity to win a new friend — or strengthen an existing friendship — for the station.
This past weekend, the oldies station in the city where I live had their "Great Guitar Lick Weekend...Songs featuring famous guitar licks."
As themes go, that's a pretty weak one. But at least it was an attempt to present familiar music in a fresh context.
Here, for example, is a famous guitar lick:
Here's another:
And here's one more famous guitar lick:
So, you get the idea, right?
The commercial breaks concluded with the recorded promo, reminding people that they were listening to the station's "Great Guitar Lick Weekend," and then they'd play a song.
Basic Principle:
When your station has a musical theme as its special context
and
You've just played a bunch of commercials
and
Following the commercials you've just played a promo that feigns excitement over the special theme...
...The song that immediately follows the promo should deliver on the promise that promo makes.
Make sense?
So if you're heavily promoting your Polka Party weekend, the next song should be...? Right, a polka.
I happened to hear a total of two songs that immediately followed that recorded promo.
The first song was "Marakesh Express" — which is musically propelled by the sound of an organ. (There is some debate over whether it's an organ or a synthesizer, but it's an "organ sound.")
The recording features organ riffs but no guitar riffs. Here's the song's beginning, which features its signature sound...the organ.
Oops.
The second time, I tuned in just before the commercial break. The jock reminded us that this was their Great Guitar Lick Weekend and that "coming up" (i.e., after the commercials) was a Great Guitar Lick song by the Beatles.
The commercials played.
The "Great Guitar Lick Weekend" promo played.
The song that immediately followed that promo was the Beatles' version of "Rock 'n' Roll Music." That's a piano driven song. The piano is front & center:
In fact, the explicitly states that it's all about the piano:
(Sigh) I guess the Clue Train don't stop there no more.
WINNER: "CAN YOU WRITE A BETTER RADIO COMMERCIAL THAN THIS JUNK?" CONTEST
At last, the winner and the runners up in the competition that has rocked the advertising world and entranced several nations (some of which prefer not be identified).
Here is the original "Target" radio commercial that was so patently bad that I couldn't even begin to critique it.
The Original Target Commercial:
It was such a terrible commercial that it's impossible to determine the Core Message they were attempting to communicate. (Or, more accurately, that they should have attempted to communicate.) That made it pretty difficult for our contestants.
Honorable Mention — Brian Haymond:
I'm giving this entry an Honorable Mention because, to my surprise, some people disliked the child performance. I thought the girl's dialogue was well written, well directed, and well performed.
The biggest problem is that the person doing the buying is a child, while the targeted consumers are adults. The child does deliver the sales message ("under $10"), but the listener is unlikely to identify with the little girl.
Also, the tiny 30-second frame forces the actors to hurry through the dialogue — a bit too fast for the average listener to pay attention to. If they had 60 seconds for essentially the same copy, the story could've been much more inviting to the audience.
Finally, the tag line distracts from the sales message, rather than reinforcing it.
Honorable Mention — David Sprague:
I love his delivery, which is why David earns an Honorable Mention. But his story doesn't invoke a picture of the Target sale. It show us his misery but not the presumably positive results of the sale.
Honorable Mention — Jessica Seabourne:
This doesn't sell Target at all. But her off-center delivery has a lot of potential.
"Oh! I went to...Target's home design event sale" — Her character hasn't been spending every waking moment thinking about Target. It's only when someone expresses interest in her new decor that the character has to pause for a moment to recall it was Target that made it possible.
And I'm sorry, but someone whom I assume is in her 20's so skillfully setting us up for a "Help Me, Rhonda" punchline? I have to give her props for that. (I'm guessing the first voice is Jessica's.)
Honorable Mention — Andy Riggle:
Very listenable. But it doesn't sell Target at all. If Andy learns to create such easy-to-listen-to vignettes that also actively deliver the sales message, he can do very well for himself and for his clients.
Honorable Mention — Adam Garey:
I don't understand the story at all. But I quite like Adam's off-handed conversational delivery. Hence, the honorable mention.
Honorable Mention — Amit Rathore:
Good focus on the consumer, painting pictures.
"30% off on design accessories" — that line was delivered completely flat and out of sync with the rest of the spot.
Honorable Mention — Steve Stone:
Great opening.
Problem: The guy talking isn't the target (no pun intended) audience, which is predominantly female. Steve is portraying a character. As the only character in the spot, he needs to represent the target audience.
If his character had fit the audience, I might have selected this spot as the winner.
Second Runner-Up — Steve Anderson:
A number of readers criticized this spot as being "not creative enough." All I care about, though, is the commercial's ability to attract and keep the attention of the targeted listener and to sell the results of whatever is being advertised.
While I don't think this spot is great, I think it's pretty good — considering the limitations of the original commercial's direction.
His delivery, with its underlying sense of urgency, propels the spot from the very first words — despite the fact that those first words usually would be very weak: "Spring is coming" — yawn. But before you can yawn, he pulls the opening line directly into your life. Steve defines a specific problem ("your house's same old tired decor") and offers a solution.
Unlike the original version, Steve's spot isn't about Target. Target is important only because it offers a solution to the problem that's already been identified.
Great commercial? No. Better than the original? Absolutely.
First Runner-Up — Ryan Patrick:
Ryan defines the consumer problem from the outset.
Alas, no commercial that includes the word "affordability" can achieve greatness.
The spot's effectiveness would be greatly enhanced by a deadline for this "design event sale" — but, unfortunately, no such deadline was mentioned in the original commercial.
The Winner — Gary Burgess:
Although this was written by a man, it wisely cast a woman — because the majority of Target's home design customers are women.
Her opening line is likely to attract the target audience — without telegraphing where the commercial is going. She gives an excellent, confident performance.
Gary's copy is sparse enough for the performer to pause repeatedly — to the benefit of the spot.
Gary's was one of the few entries not to focus on the "nature" theme that supposedly inspired the items being sold. Why is that smart? Because no one is going to buy that stuff because it's "inspired by nature." They're going to buy it because they need/want stuff like that in their homes...and it's cheap.
The key phrase in the original commercial is "under $10," not "nature inspired." Gary spotted that and ran with it.
"Now on" is the British equivalent of "going on now," which I absolutely hate. I'll give Gary the benefit of the doubt by assuming if there were an actual deadline to refer to, he wouldn't have said "now on."
So, Gary, you won your choice of any one of my e-booksof my mp3 seminars. Small solace for the tremendous resentment you already are sensing from everyone else who thought their entry was better. But congratulations nonetheless.
(Please come pick up your prize during normal business hours.)
FINAL ENTRIES: Make A Better "Target" Radio Commercial
As witnessed by the slew of news vehicles camped outside my office (and certain hitherto respected journalistic luminaries relieving themselves on the lush grounds of my vast estate), this is the final day of my "Can You Write Better Than This Junk" contest.
Rob Dungee took an interesting approaching, intertwining his personal life with the commercial message.
Rob Dungee:
Rod Rawlings says:
"This was fun! Good idea. Maybe you'll do it again?"
Rod Rawlings:
There you have it, dear readers/judges. Thirty entries, all submitted in good faith and with high hopes.
ENTRIES #26, 27, 28: Make A Better "Target" Radio Commercial Contest
This is your penultimate day for viciously critiquing the work of your fellow professionals, in our newsmaking, breathtaking, earth shaking "Can You Write Better Than This Junk" contest...
Nancy Tyler prefaces her spot:
"Target With A Twang: Hipster discount shopping comes to the hinterlands."
Nancy Tyler:
Sheila Newell wisely attempts to avoid direct confrontations with our readers/judges:
"I'm not really competitive, I just wanted to give this a try. Look forward to your critique: (GULP)."
Sheila Newell:
Chris Young explains:
"Had fun with it...maybe a little too much fun. Wanted something that would sound 'different'...think we succeeded?"
Chris Young:
Okay, readers. Help 'em out with your honest opinions, feedback and advice.
"I think this contest is an awesome idea and so much fun! I enlisted the help of my dear friend and the 'guy who hired me' nearly 30 years ago, Dave Parsons for my ad. Dave and I together bring with us almost 60 years of broadcasting and copy writing! Had a blast doing this and thanks again!"
Billie Jo Weyant:
Amit Rathore explains:
"I have tried to establish relation between dreams, desire and nature."
Amit Rathore:
And our third entrant today is from the notoriously taciturn Chris Malone:
Just two more days and this contest is over, guys. So....What's your feedback on these three spots?
"I thought I'd try selling the sale with some pictures. I know full well that a client like this wouldn't 'buy' into that concept no matter how well I sold it to them, it would have to start with 'them' and the discount, we have the same clients in South Africa. But I thought I'd try combining nature with the sale, as an angle. And my apologies to all producers, for the crudity of my editing and processing, oh and the lack of effects and music. No time (as per usual) It’s about the script isn’t??"
Jonathan Lumley:
Susan Wright wisely kisses up to the judge by saying:
"Thanks for the challenge!"
Susan Wright:
Adam Garey explains:
"I wanted something not real normal. Something that doesn't sound over contrived. I may get slammed — I see I missed some avenues. Part of the learning process...Thanks for the comments and thanks to Dan."
Adam Garey:
Readers? You have some input for these three hopeful contestants?
ENTRIES #14, 15, 16: Make A Better "Target" Radio Commercial Contest
For those of you scoring along at home, we have 17 more entries in our "Can You Write Better Than This Junk" contest to share between now and Saturday. The following week: The judging begins. (Get ready to vote. Just in case I decide to add the illusion of democracy to this contest.)
Paul Fredricks explains:
"I played off the 'nature' theme, since I can't visualize a motif. Be gentle, I'm still dealing with being discarded by Les Moonves a few months back. Hey Dan, maybe Les would add some of his $18M bonus from last year to the prize pot? I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?"
Paul Fredericks:
Brianna Logan is a student at Mount Royal College.
"I went with the nature angle, hope you like it."
Brianna Logan
Jessica Seabourne also is a student at Mount Royal College:
"Please let me know what you think. Even it is good or bad, and what I could do to change it."
I've created this post for any Radio Advertising Letter subscribers who would like to comment on Hugh McLeod's remark about advertising, the old-fashioned Christmas sales promotion, my secret for writing effective radio commercials, and/or the terrific spot by Terri Beers in the newest issue.
ENTRIES #11, 12, 13: Make A Better "Target" Radio Commercial Contest
Per the long-standing tradition of This Blog, whenever I need a striking visual to add to my breathtaking prose I turn to my Tuesday Weld archives. This photo is from the film (which I enjoyed even when she wasn't on-screen), ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA.
We have 21 more entries to consider before rendering the Final Judgment in my groundbreaking, earth shattering (kind of the same thing, no?)...uh, turf tearing "Can You Write Better Than This Junk" contest.
That means 3 per day through Saturday, March 21. With the exception of Sunday — which, of course, is reserved for the solemnly traditional Bobby Ocean Radio Cartoon.
Many of the contestants have remarked that the challenge alone has been fun for them. So when you mercilessly attack their spots, you might want to remember that we're all at different skill and experience levels. And we're all trying our best.
***INSENSITIVE CREATIVITY WARNING*** Entries #9 & #10: Make A Better "Target" Radio Commercial
Two more entries in our "Can You Write Better Than This Junk" Contest. I'm pretty sure one of them will offend some readers.
The first is from Gary Burgess:
Gary explains:
"I no longer work in commercial radio, now that I'm at the BBC - but I thought I'd give this Target competition a go. You might think this is a load of tosh - in which case feel free to delete!
The thrust of the ad is that in a stress-filled world, it might be more cost-effective to fill your home with some soothing and calming furnishings, than spend a fortune on therapy!"
And then there's this entry from David Sprague:
"This commercial was inspired by practically every trip to Target with my wife. There is no such thing as, 'I just want to look around for a minute.' "
ENTRIES #7 & #8: Make A Better "Target" Radio Commercial
Our "Can You Write Better Than This Junk" Contest can't go on forever, if for no other reason than the world needs to stop obsessing over this competition and pay attention to other (albeit more mundane) news.
We'll find a way to feature all the other entries by the end of next week — I hope. In the meantime, two more entries.
Ryan Patrick:
Steve Stone:
By now you know what to do: Pile on with your forthright critiques....
ENTRIES #3 & #4: Make A Better "Target" Commercial
Wow, lots of entries coming in for my exciting "Can You Write Better Than This Junk" Contest. So many that I'll share two per day with you.
The first is from Steve Anderson:
Our second entry today is from Brian Haymond, who says, "I wrote and produced the spot. My daughter Samantha (8) is the lead character with Olivia (11) and my wife adding their voices." (Oddly, Brian doesn't mention how old his wife is.) Brian Haymond:
Your comments, judges? (That means you. Yeah, you. The person reading these words right now.)
RADIO PROGRAM DIRECTORS SHOW THEIR LOVE FOR DAN O'DAY
I don't know if I should even upload this video; I don't want to seem self-aggrandizing.
But the warmth and admiration with which program directors from around the world greeted me when I took to the stage at PD Grad School was so touching that I had just had to share it with you.
Even my audio engineer (who appears at the very end) dropped his professional demeanor to join in this spontaneous emotional display.
September – October, 1994 (continued): After my nine-day seminar tour of Germany, I had just a few days to rest before leaving for an equally exotic destination: Shanty Creek, Michigan (near Traverse City). Jim Jensen of the Liggett Broadcast group brought me in to teach the company’s salespeople how to put commercials on the air that result in re-orders from the client — hence the title, HOW TO GET RICH THROUGH RE-ORDERS.
To fly into Traverse City from Los Angeles, I had to change planes in Chicago. When I arrived at the airport in L.A., I checked the listing of United Airlines departures but could not find my flight listed. When I asked why not, I was told the flight had been canceled (but never was told why). The next flight to Chicago was scheduled to arrive 14 minutes before my connecting flight to Traverse City.
Obviously, there is no way to make a 14-minute connection at the busiest airport in America...but I had no choice but to try.
To be safe, before taking off I called Hertz to arrange for a rental car in Chicago; the odds are I would have to drive to Traverse City. Inasmuch as they told me it’s an eight-hour drive, my “back-up plan” was to drive all night and arrive at the seminar site just in time to start.
I managed to snag a seat across the aisle from the aircraft’s exit door. United uses two terminals at O’Hare Airport. Naturally, my plane arrived at one terminal and the flight I wanted to catch left from the other. All the passengers assured me I couldn’t make it; the flight attendant pretended to believe I had a chance.
As soon as the plane was parked at the gate, I stood up and yelled, “Nobody move!” I grabbed my stuff from the overhead compartment — suitcase, tote bag, and computer — and began a desperate run through the airport. I was amazed at how quickly I became completely winded — lungs burning up — while running with that load.
To my shock, I reached the plane two minutes before take-off.
Six or seven hours later, my heart reduced its pounding and my perspiration reduced its flow.
That was a picnic, however, compared to my schedule — and problems — the following week.
Next Week: A dislocated shoulder...aboard an airplane.
NOTE: Today's REAL posting is immediately below this "mystery message."
Somehow I managed to receive an entry for our Target commercial contest without the accompanying explanatory message. So I don't know who sent it. It opens with, "Dude, your apartment is great."
A RADIO COMMERCIAL ENTRY CERTAIN TO OFFEND SOME PEOPLE
Our second entry in my exciting "Can You Write Better Than This Junk" Contest is from Jeff Roberts:
My apologies up front. It is offensive, quickly thrown together and not my best work. However, the germ of an idea jumped into my head and this was the only way to get rid of it!
